I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize