I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
time to smoke my breakfast
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This baby is an asshole
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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