I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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