So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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