I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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