therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
