Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
