I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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