i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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