What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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