Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
