Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need water and some morals
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize