Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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