I just cut my nipple shaving
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
