Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with