told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
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Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.