And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
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Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
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So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.