everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day