you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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