Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.