Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..