Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
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Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.