omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.