so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!