my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize