we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
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It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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