Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
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Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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