Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night