well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.