dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?