Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize