my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize