he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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