He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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