Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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