Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
