If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
