It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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