Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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