my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize