i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize