Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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