im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
