i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.