I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
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Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?