my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green