I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We were destined to go to rehab together
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship