Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign