I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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