i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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