Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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