I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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