i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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