shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.