Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?