she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.