Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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