Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
25 People Confess What Theyâ€™re Shamefully Attracted To
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice Theyâ€™ve Been Given
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.