maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.