how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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