I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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