i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
