just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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