Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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