I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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