Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
